Holding Pattern
by YourGirlThursday
Summary: What finally unraveled Cassie's calm was a song. [Post 1x09 "Tomorrow" fic]


**This takes place following 1x09 "Tomorrow" so um spoilers for that if you haven't watched it. **

**And I don't have any of the rights to Dirty Dancing, though my little sister has made me sit through it waaay too many times. It seemed like it would be a great way to sneak in "These Arms of Mine."**

* * *

The first week was actually the easiest. Cassie felt strangely calm and collected about what had happened. She hadn't found a body so Cole wasn't _dead_ dead. That thought kept her from drowning. At best (or was it worst?) he had been erased because the virus had been destroyed. He had been saved and would get to restart his life. His presence left a small hole in Cassie's life, but it wasn't as bad as she thought it might be. She was used to going weeks without seeing him, so nothing felt out of place. It was like all of those days in between his jumps.

Cassie often forgot that Cole would never return. At the grocery store she bought a bag of Doritos, Cole's favorite, for the next time he visited. She made sure there was a second towel on the rack in her bathroom, but never used it. It got cleaned every week along with Cassie's. All of Cole's clothes made it in the move. Cassie told herself it was just so she could wash them before donating them, but she never did. When she finally washed them, some ended up migrating to Cassie's dresser because they would make great pajamas.

What finally unraveled Cassie's calm was a song.

_Dirty Dancing_ had always been one of Cassie's favorite movies. She had spent an entire summer trying to learn the big dance number with her friend Gabi. They could only do about half of it because neither had the upper arm strength to life the other. So when Cassie saw that the movie was on TV she couldn't resist watching. She changed into a large raglan shirt and pair of sweatpants while Baby and her dad fought. If she hurried she could make it back in time for Baby's visit to Johnny's cabin. Cassie grabbed a pint of ice cream and settled in just before the scene started.

Then that damn song started. Cassie didn't recognize it at first. The movie had the volume so low and then it hit her. This was the song they danced to at the museum. The dance that Cole had called nice. A dance they could never repeat. It was the first time Cassie had admitted to herself that Cole was more than 'not dead.' He was never coming back.

Cassie felt as though a dam had burst inside her. Tears flooded her cheeks. She removed her glasses so she could swipe at them properly. It wasn't like she could see through the haze of water anyway. In retrospect, Cassie realized that her mind had been playing tricks on her. There was this tiny possibility floating around that maybe Cole would come back to her. Of course, it was more likely that he had skipped into another timeline, but a small part of her wondered if he had been pulled back to 2043 at the last second. She hadn't realized she was keeping herself in a holding pattern, waiting for Cole's return. Cassie needed to move on.

Or at least begin the lengthy process.

The whole next week Cassie opted to sleep at the bookstore after work. She decided to call the realtor the following Monday. She hadn't listed the place yet. Her excuse to Aaron had been that there were some repairs that needed to be made first. Purely sentimental reasons were what kept Cassie from selling. The space made her feel closer to her grandparents and to Cole. A small part of her knew that if Cole came back that he'd visit her there. Cassie gave herself this time to say goodbye to all of those ghosts. Over the weekend she would clean it up for the realtor.

Early Saturday morning Aaron called to check in. Cassie tried to make herself sound cheerful and upbeat. It must not have worked because Aaron asked if she needed him. He said he would drop everything and come over. Cassie declined his request. It was great that he cared, but she needed to be alone. He closed the call with a reminder that he would always be there if she changed her mind.

After that Cassie began cleaning up the store. It was harder that day because the storm clouds were rolling in. Cassie found it difficult to tell if the windows were streaky without all the sunlight. She stopped trying to make everything look perfect and just cranked up the music on her phone. It took most of the day, but she managed to make the first floor look shiny and new. As an added bonus the physical activity kept her mind off of Cole.

By the time Cassie was done showering the dust and grime off of herself, a storm had begun. Rain danced against the roof. She looked out the window just in time to see a streak of lightning illuminate the street. The storm built for a few minutes before Cassie lost interest and found her book. She curled up on the couch and read. Pages and chapters flew by until a loud banging interrupted her concentration. It took a beat for Cassie to realize that the noise she heard was someone knocking on the kitchen door.

Cassie checked her watch. It was already seven. Aaron was the most likely source of the knocking though Cassie didn't remember telling him where she would be. Just in case, Cassie grabbed her tea kettle. It wasn't the best weapon, but it would do. She held it ready as she swung open the door.

Cassie's knees buckled as she recognized the man standing in the rain. It was Cole, her Cole, absolutely drenched. He barely had time to smile before Cassie nearly knocked him down. At first she feared she was crushing him, but Cole held her just as fiercely. Cassie's nearly dry hair was sopping in a matter of seconds. Her hands and feet were freezing, but she felt warmer than she had in weeks.

"I thought I'd never see you again," she whispered into his shoulder. She wanted to be angry, but her joy and relief left no room for any other emotions.

Cole played with her hair. "Same."

Cassie pulled back so she could look him in the eye. "I listened to you die and then had to let it happen." Her voice broke with that admission. "Do you know how hard that was?"

Cole started to say something, but stopped. His hands gently cupped the sides of Cassie's face. He pressed his lips against her forehead in a whisper of a kiss. "I can imagine," he mumbled against her skin.

Cassie looked at Cole's mouth as he pulled slowly away from her. She wondered how long they had before he splintered again. "I promised myself that if you came back I'd…" She licked her lips and glanced down before meeting Cole's eyes. "I'd do this."

She leaned in, barely touching her lips to his. It was a ridiculous idea. Her mouth was backing away from his before she had a chance to commit every second of the kiss to memory. Cassie didn't have to worry though. Cole started the kiss over. He moved with an exaggerated slowness. Every cell in Cassie ached for her to press a little harder. She gave into the impulse and twined her arms tighter around Cole's neck.

As much as Cassie was enjoying the kiss, it was far from how she had pictured it. The pouring rain made it hard to breathe. It also took away any sense of friction. It threw off any sort of rhythm they had. Cassie could barely feel Cole's mouth as it slid over hers. The cold had numbed her skin though she was aware of how pruned her fingers and toes were becoming.

It was far from perfect, but Cassie wouldn't have it any other way. Cole was alive and kissing her. It was exactly what she needed to assure herself that he was back. When she could do it without sobbing, Cassie would promise him that she wouldn't let him die again. She would protect him with everything she could muster. He wasn't a sacrifice she was willing to make.

One of Cole's hands slid from Cassie's back to her neck. His thumb brushed the sensitive skin just under her ear. Cassie sighed into his mouth. She stopped overthinking things and allowed herself to just enjoy the moment. Her hands wandered to Cole's hair, itching to feel how soft it was.

A loud crash sounded from somewhere nearby. Cole tucked Cassie's head into his chest. He used his body and arms to shield her from whatever made the noise. He immediately went into survival mode. Cassie started to laugh. She felt bad, but she couldn't help it. Cole looked down at her in shock over her reaction.

Cassie pointed to the ground just behind Cole. "I dropped my kettle."

Cole stared at it for a moment. "I - what?"

"I had it in case you were a murderer or something," Cassie said with a shrug. She picked up the kettle from the ground. It had a small dent in it now. "C'mon. We should get inside. You're shaking."

Cole looked down at his hands. "Am I? Didn't notice."

Cassie took one of Cole's hands with her own, threading their fingers together. She led him toward the house. Cole went to open the door since both of Cassie's hands were occupied. He stopped just before he grabbed the knob. He turned toward Cassie.

"We're gonna beat this thing," he promised, his voice soft yet serious.

Cassie nodded. "Yes, we will. Now let's get out of these wet clothes."


End file.
